Dear Ideal Reader

Dear Zoe Sugg, 

Picture of Zoe Sugg (Zoella on youtube) (Image from Independent)

My name is Jaqi Turnlund and I am in the 9th grade. I found you on youtube a couple of years ago and you instantly interested my with your videos. I have a blog where I write about things that I do, rants, or pretty much anything that interests me which is kind of like what you do. That's why you are my ideal reader. You are the person that when I write, I write it specifically for you hoping that you will read it. First of all, I admire you because you are similar to me by posting stories about your life and the exciting things you do but also, because you are inspiring. From the point I started watching your videos, you have inspired me. Not because I want to be a youtube but by the type of person you are. You are inspiring because you don't care about what other people think about you. You have millions of subscribers on youtube and there are some pretty mean people out there so you must get hate but, I doesn't faze you. You keep doing what you love and nothing is stopping you from doing it. Another thing that is inspiring about you is you are real. Obviously you are literally a 'real' person but I mean you are real and not fake. You show your true self. On your vlogging channel, you have posted a video of you really upset and crying and you said "I am showing the real me" I think that is very inspirational because it takes a lot to post something like that an most people wouldn't do that. You showed people that you weren't the perfect person everyone thought you were. You also said "sometimes life gets too much and you just need a breather" which not only helps people but also shows that you are real. You are just very down to earth and real with who you are. Another reason I admire you is because you say things in your videos that are really cool and make me change the way I look at things and also, You are a very positive person and always seem to for the most part, stay happy. You always smile in your videos (with the exception of the one with you crying) and make everyone's day brighter. When reading my blog, I would hope you would look at things differently by some of my rants and opinions. Also I hope you would be interested in my life by my stories. I would hope that you come back to read my posts because you find that I am similar to you and my posts interest you. 

Thanks, 

Jaqi

FEAR

One of these days, possibly very soon, you will discover yourself standing on the edge of a cliff. Your whole life lies behind you. A life that you want to leave behind. Only, the future lies far below, so far that from where you stand you can't tell what it looks like. The only way to know for sure is by jumping off the edge and plunging into the unknown. But something holds you back. Fear. If you ask people what they fear they generally would say something generic like clowns. So what's my fear?

Over the years I have never been immensely afraid of anything to the severe. I mean yeah, spiders, heights, and dying did scare me but it wasn't too serious. I could always just smoosh a spider and its not likely to fall when you are at great heights. I was afraid of dying for a while but soon came to the conclusion that dying is going to happen to everyone eventually therefore, there is no reason to fear it; it is just a waste of time.

Over the last year I have found the thing that actually does scare me. Now, I know it is going to sound foolish or it is going to sound rash and its really hard to explain the reasoning of why but, I am afraid of dreams. No, I don't mean your dreams and goals in life. I mean the thing that happens to you while you sleep. But I'm not talking about a dream of you walking down the street and thats it. I'm talking about the feeling of waking up not knowing whether that was your real life or not. I'm talking about the fact that if you dream certain things, it means something. Or that time you had a nightmare and had to go sleep in your parents room. The fear of dreams is called Oneirophobia. Many people who have this to the severe often don't want to fall asleep but it is not that serious for me. Now one of the main reasons I fear this is because when I am dreaming, I can't control it. I can't control what is happening to me inside of my brain. Its like someone takes over for a while. Now this fear of mine is not to the point of where if I dream anything, I wake up terrified. I just shake it off most of the time depending on the type of dream. But when I start to think about it, like I am now, it genuinely scares me.

Dreams. (Tumblr)

 Now, I guess you can say that I am scared of sleeping and I guess that is slightly true. Even though I love it like every other teenager does, it scares me somewhat. Maybe its the vulnerability of it and how anything can be happening to you without you even knowing while being in a subconscious state. But it might be the things that I am capable of doing while sleeping. Like for instance the fact that I sleep walk. The fact that one time I woke up while I was running up the stairs. Or...funny story actually, A year ago on New Years I slept over at my friend Mckinna's house. I fell asleep on the couch and woke up back on the same couch so I assumed I stayed there the whole night. But to my surprise, in the morning, Mckinna's mom said that someone went into Aidan's (her brother's) room at about 7 a.m. She then went on explaining how that person came in, stared at him for a few minutes, then went into his bathroom, went to the bathroom, then left. While she was telling this story, I thought about how embarrassing for the person that would have been and I actually kid you not I thought to myself "thank god its not me!" Mocking then asked who it was and her, me, and our two other friends that were there turned around in wonderment. He then lifted his finger and pointed straight at me and said "It was her."
I know this may seem like a funny little story but it made me realize no one can know what they do in their sleep. I had no idea that I got up and walked around let alone went to the bathroom! So thats that. If you understand my fear, great. If you don't then... well... I don't know how else to explain it.

Thanks.

Mexico Pt. 2

Day 3: Beach day

Today, unlike the other days, was a very sunny day so my family and I decided to take a ten minute drive down to a new beach called Kupuri Beach Club. As soon as we got there I was quite hungry. But, I laid in the sun for about three hours then finally got my food. After I was completely full I decided to go into the ocean and body surf. I stood there then once a big wave came along, I got in a ready stance. Once the wave was close enough I would swim as hard as I could. I would catch the wave for about half a second but then it would pass tumbling me down into the sand while I got a mouth full of salty water. This was the cycle of me trying to body surf. I caught only one wave then about an hour later, headed back to my chair in defeat. We drove back home in our little golf cart and then headed out to dinner.

Sitting by the beach

Day 4: Salulita

The pretty flags in Salutila

Since the day was quite cloudy today we decided it wasn't a good day to go to the beach so we took the Twenty minute drive down to the little town of Salulita. When I arrived I looked up to see the variety of different colors of plastic flags that were lined all down the streets and it looked absolutely beautiful. We wandered down the streets looking at all the little shops as they pass by with my family buying a few things. I bought a beaded bracelet with a wave design, a couple of post cards,  5 multicolored beaded bracelets for me and my friends, and a dream catcher. We then went to eat lunch at a cute little restaurant located right on the beach. I ordered chicken quesadillas and they were out in a jiffy along with my mango smoothie. I was expecting pretty low quality food due to the looks of the run-down restaurant but to my surprise my food was quite good. After lunch we still had more time to kill so we continued to look around at all the shops and get ice cream as well. We spent about eight hours browsing around the town and eating lunch. After this we got home and I was beat! Who knew shopping could be so exhausting! We went out to dinner.

Day 5: Surf Day/ New years

Even though I am not very good at it, I really love surfing. So today I had the urge to go surfing. I asked my dad if he wanted to come with me the three hours later my dad and I were finally set out to go surf. I was pumped. I love surfing and I hadn't been surfing in an considerable amount of time. I hopped on my board and paddle out into the middle of the ocean. We shortly came to realize that the wind had died out. We still tried to surf but had no success and went back home tired and in defeat. I had wasted the whole day waiting to surf and surfing was second-rate. So, after that let down, it was time to go to our New Years Party! I would have rather been with my friends for new years but I was in Mexico and that was pretty cool. So, this was in the resort where I was staying at the St. Regis. I was called an all white party so I put on a white skirt and white shirt. We drove over there in our golf cart pretty quick then waited in a line to be seated at our table. Once we were seated, Megan and I were starving so we immediately went out to the buffet to go and grab our share of food. While scanning the tables I noticed that they were all seafood. And whats the only type of food I don't like? Seafood. I then scoped out a little table near the end which had Beef tenderloin. I grabbed a plate of that, a couple pieces of bread, and a bowl of potato soup, and made my way back to my table. I ate for a while and sat and watched as my parents eventually left the table and entered the dance floor. Then I watched my sister Katie do the same. So I sat there with Megan and talk for a while. Three hours later my family and I stood in a circle two minutes before midnight on the beachside then said our goals for next year and favorite part about the last year. About fifteen minutes later we drove home and crawled into bed.

Day 6: Lets go Paddle Boarding

It was my last day in the beautiful Punta Mita so I went to the beach for the last time. My sister and I laid out in the sun for a while then decided to take a quick paddle board ride. We rented some paddle boards at the beach club and set off. It was very relaxing and there was nice breeze. After my arms grew tired I laid down on the board and relaxed the the waves rocking by board and the relaxing sound of them crashing onto the beach. I headed back home after an hour and sat by the pool while listening to music. The day ended at that and we want out to dinner.

Day 7: Home.

I woke up early to get my last bit of sun in Punta Mita then packed up my bag to head home. Once the car arrived to drive us to the airport I said my goodbyes and left in peace. Bye Punta Mita, See you in two weeks. ;)

Mexico pt.1

I awoke quickly at 7:45 a.m, put on my clothes, and jumped into the car. When we arrived at the airport it was very crowded but I wasn't surprised considering it was the day after christmas and everyone was leaving town. Once we got past security, my family and I went to eat breakfast at a small restaurant near our gate and got on the plane by 10:30. The plane ride was boring (as always) because of the fact that I had nothing to do except sleep and listen to music. Hours later, we landed in Mexico in a very crowded area. It took about another hour for us to finally get off the plane and we waited in customs for some time then spent and little more time waiting for our bags. Then finally, we left the airport and started our hour ride to Punta Mita. Due to the fact that we had to wait many hours at the airport once we got to our house, I scarfed down some guacamole that was waiting for us at our place, then it was time to leave for dinner. For dinner, we went to a restaurant within the resort where we were staying called Sufi. The service was slow but the delicious food made up for the fact. For dinner, I decided to order ribs. I know, I know, I'm crazy for ordering American food in Mexico but to my surprise, they were actually quite good. In fact, probably the best ribs I have ever had. After dinner, we were all extremely tired so we went back home and I fell asleep immediately (after watching a couple episodes of Grey's Anatomy that is).

Day 1: Adventure day

Sunset after dinner

When I woke up it was cloudy. Now I shouldn't be complaining because in Park City it was in the negatives and I was in Mexico where is was warm. But I was expecting hot, sunny, beautiful weather. I decided since I was by the beach I might as well go there. So, my sister Megan and I hopped in the golf cart and went on down to the beach. When we arrived, I ordered a Burrito. I ate it all up but since it was so cold at the beach Megan and I went back into the golf cart to go home. Once we got home we soon found out there was hardly anything to do at home so, we decided to go explore the resort. For the third time, Megan and I got back into the golf cart and drove around. We brought our speaker played music while feeling the cold breeze on our face. We drove up and down all the roads and drove by the beachside until we became bored of it and headed back home.We laid in the sun until dinner. For dinner, we went to the local Beach Club and had chicken tenders. Yeah. American food again. Except these chicken tenders were amazing. They're honestly were extraordinary.

Day 2: Sun day

I woke up at a late time of 11:00 a.m the day was yet again another cloudy but the difference was that today was nice, warm, and barley windy. I wasn't in the mood to drive anywhere so I made a cold bowl of cereal and sat outside on a beach chair by the pool. I spent the rest of my day sitting relaxing in the sun and swimming in the pool. Later we went to dinner at a place called Blue Shrimp which was extremely delicious.